Her Story

There comes a time in a girl’s life when she plans on finally settling down. When I was still a kid, I thought the perfect age would be at 24. But when I reached that age, I realized that I still had so many things I wanted to do, so I decided to postpone it especially since my relationship with Bob then was quite young and new.

But then, you can’t postpone it for too long because unfortunately, ang babae habang tumatanda, bumababa ang market value ika nga nila. Sad, but true. Especially when you plan on having kids. Ang dugas nga eh kasi ang mga lalaki, mas nagiging desirable the older they get kasi mas mature na sila and hopefully, sawa na sa mga kalokohan hehehe.

But I digress. So anyway, yun nga. I didn’t want to get married ng too old so I put a deadline on myself (and in effect, kay Bob rin) that I should get married before I reached my 30’s. After years of being together, Bob and I already knew that we wanted to spend the rest of our lives with one another, but having a deadline I suppose put pressure on his part, and maybe that’s why we ended up making wedding plans.

It was definitely not how I imagined it. I’ve always been the sentimental and romantic type; I wanted my engagement moment to be a big surprise, with matching luhud-luhod on one knee, candlelit dinner, music and flowers. Kung pwede ngang may gimmick pa like nakatago sa loob ng cake yung ring or naka-announce sa billboard yung proposal hehehe. What can I say, reyna talaga ako ng cheese :)

Sobrang big deal sakin talaga ang mga special occasions. Whether birthday, anniversary, lalo na Valentine’s day (which if I may say eh sobrang hate ni Bob kasi mashado raw commercialized, bah humbug!), kailangan may celebration yun kahit papaano, or at least bigyan man lang ng konting effort. Eh lalo na kaya ang engagement which (ideally) comes only once sa lifetime ng isang babae.

So you can just imagine my disappointment when we started making plans na for our wedding. Heto na kami nagda-down payment for the church and reception venue, may date at entourage na at lahat… pero walang proposal?!?!? I kept making parinig kay Bob telling him how sad I was na hindi ko na-experience yung surprise moment na yun of finding out na gusto pala niya akong pakasalan. I told him what kind of ring I wanted and how I wanted to be proposed to, tapos ang sagot niya lang sakin eh “Kailangan pa ba nun? Ang corny!”

But I didn’t give up, ayoko naman siyang i-nag kasi sobrang pathetic ko na nun, so at night ipinagdadasal ko na lang na magpropose na sakin finally si Bob (at least MEDYO pathetic lang hehehe), kasi hindi ko talaga maramdaman na ikakasal na ako. I couldn’t even tell my friends kasi the few na nasabihan ko, isa lahat ang reaction, “Patingin ng singsing!” Eh wala akong mapakita, so I stopped telling people na lang. I even tried to connive with our friends to find out from Bob kung may plans nga siya of proposing pero wala talaga silang mapiga kay Bob which for me meant wala talagang plano si mokong! :)

But I kept the faith, only to be met by disappointment time and time again. Until I decided to stop hoping. Sabi ko sa sarili ko, I’m just torturing myself when it’s so apparent that Bob will never propose. Tutal naman pakakasalan ako, okay na yun!

And yet deep inside I could never shake the nagging thought na baka kaya ako pakakasalan ni Bob eh dahil napilitan na lang siya, na-pressure sakin. So even in the midst of wedding planning, I couldn’t feel true happiness. I couldn’t erase the doubts in my head. I felt na kaya hindi nagpo-propose si Bob eh dahil ayaw niya pa talaga magpakasal.

Yesterday, Christmas day, Bob and I made plans to see each other to have dinner (shempre holiday, kailangan i-celebrate!). When he picked me up at home, pagsakay ko ng car, inabutan niya ako ng Starbucks paper bag. Gift daw niya. Since his sister worked at Starbucks, akala ko yung planner ng Starbucks ang ibibigay niya sakin. Pagbukas ko, isang 300-calorie piece of cake na nasa parang luma na na packaging ang bumungad sakin. Initial thought ko was, ito gift sakin ni Bob?! Not that I wasn’t grateful, medyo parang weird lang kasi anytime pwede niya ako bigyan ng ganun, bakit tinaon pa na Pasko. And besides, alam niyang hindi ako mahilig sa sweets. Pero sabi ni Bob, meron pang laman yang paper bag. I looked, and found two CDs of my super favorite Julia Fordham. Solb na ko, props lang pala yung cake kasi yung CDs pala talaga yung totoo niyang gift. I was happy already, until Bob said, meron pang laman yan. Sabi ko, wala na, ang gaan na nung paper bag! Sabi niya, hindi meron pa, check mo ulit. And lo and behold, at the very bottom of the bag was a small velvet box.

Hindi ko napigilan, bigla akong napaluha. I thought to myself, ito na ba yun?? Is this finally it?? Pero at the same time, naisip ko rin na, iiyak-iyak ako tapos mamaya hikaw naman pala ang laman nung kahon or kwintas, mukha akong tanga! Or baka Bob meant to have that box as a joke; sa isip-isip ko, it would be a veeeeerrrrrrryyyy bad joke, unforgivable even. Ang bilis talaga ng takbo ng isip ko nun, conflicting thoughts and emotions, kasi for that brief moment, I allowed myself to hope again and I didn’t want to be disappointed another time.

Nung hindi na ako makatiis, binuksan ko na yung kahon. And what I saw inside made me drop the box on my lap, cover my face with both my hands, and I bawled like a baby. Daig ko pa ang batang nawala sa loob ng mall at hindi mahanap ang magulang sa lakas ng iyak ko. As in hagulgol to the max talaga. Hindi alam ni Bob kung paano ako patatahanin kasi I think I was crying for over a minute yata. I remember him saying, “Be tama na, pinagtitinginan na tayo ng mga tao, baka akala inaaway kita.” But how could I stop crying? Inside the box was the most beautiful white gold engagement ring I could ever dream of. The only time I was able to stop covering my face was when Bob said, “Be akin na yung kamay mo para maisuot ko sayo yung singsing.” And when he placed the ring on my finger, it was a perfect fit! Then Bob said, “Will you marry me?”, I hugged him and started bawling again! Sabi na ni Bob (who was also crying na at this point), “Be, hindi mo sinasagot yung tanong ko. Will you marry me?” And I told him, “Shempre!”

It was amazing, the ring was amazing, Bob was amazing! The ring was perfect, it was exactly how I wanted it to be. The width of the band, the size of the stone… perfect! I honestly couldn’t have chosen a better one. Tumalon talaga ako palabas ng sasakyan and I raced inside our house to show off my beautiful ring to my parents. Apparently I was blubbering kasi wala silang maintindihan sa sinabi ko. Nakita lang nila na sumugod ako sa kwarto nila, humahagulgol habang nakataas ang kamay ko and they jumped to the conclusion na nanakawan ako! My dad was so worried but my mom saw na the ring on my finger and she too started crying! So Dad ko sobrang clueless kung bakit dalawa kaming umiiyak so lalo tuloy siyang kinabahan (sorry Dad!) until my mom and I were able to calm down and start being coherent again hehehe.

When I went back sa car, tinanong ni Bob kung saan ko daw gusto pumunta, isa agad ang sagot ko, “I want a manicure! Kailangan maganda ang kamay ko pag nagshow-off ako ng ring!” Hehe :)

And that is how we spent the rest of the day. Bob got a haircut while I was getting my French tips. Habang nagpapa-manicure nga ako, hindi ko napipigilan, nagluluha pa rin ako. Siguro nga napa-praning na sa akin yung manikurista eh hehehe. I couldn’t help it, pag naiisip ko yung mga pangyayari, naiiyak ako na natatawa kasi wa-poise talaga yung reaction ko hehehe. Kung may ilang beses talaga ako naiyak the whole day yesterday. Up to now a part of me still finds the whole thing unbelievable.

Be, no words can describe how happy you made me feel. Thank you for the best Christmas ever. I love you very, very much.

And to everyone else, let's look forward to a great new year! May you experience that amazing kind of crazy-happiness at least once in your life, and may you find that perfect someone you’ll want to spend the rest of your life with. I did :)